My goal was that over 50% of my books read this year be written by authors who were not cis white males. I got to 69%! Working on increasing this percentage for 2021.
Burnout Proof Bootcamp – January 2021 Interpreter Self Care
2020 is officially over, and here at Burnout Proof Academy we’re welcoming in 2021 with a commitment to caring for ourselves and cultivating our support-systems.
Burnout Proof Bootcamp begins January 13th!
Explore the roots of your burnout and build habits of resilience, while connecting with a nurturing and supportive community.
Created for interpreters, teachers, parents, and anyone who finds it easier to care of others than to care of themselves, Burnout Proof Bootcamp is a self-paced self-care intensive that offers 1.5 GS CEUs through RID, and has the power to change your life.
From past participants: “Strongly encourage everyone to take this workshop! Life changing!”
“The flow and order of the workshop/course was spot on. The timing and the ability to take it at your own pace is exactly what we need as busy interpreters!”
“Brea is a masterfully mindful instructor/ coach! Such great tools, resources, guidance, nudging, and support throughout the course! So helpful to be able to complete it at one’s own pace. Inner work does not follow a schedule or deadlines. THANK YOU!”
These 2-hour sessions gave us a space to connect, learn, and practice together – and they’re both now available on-demand!
In 2021 I want to try something different!
Building a strong community of heart-centered folks who are committed to caring for ourselves so we can take better care of each other is a top priority at Burnout Proof Academy.
To that end, we’re going to kick off 2021 with a high-connection offering:
I’ve been dreaming of hosting a book club for quite a while now…A space where we can learn together through reading new and transformative burnout-related books, discuss them in an informal and fun atmosphere, while getting CEUs!
I’m so excited for this fun, new way to connect and grow together!!! Don’t miss it!
January Oil Protocol
Welcome in the new year and solidify your intentions with this nourishing oil protocol.
Oil Properties + Affirmations
Melaleuca – energetic boundaries –“I release what’s no longer serving me.” Clove – boundaries – “I ground and support myself with healthy boundaries.” Myrrh – nurturing – “I invite deep nurturing.” Arborvitae – divine grace – “I receive divine grace.” Neroli – shared purpose + partnership – “I open to the web of life.” Juniper Berry – the dark – “I’m willing to stay with myself through the darkness.” Cypress – flow – “Life is dynamic and I flow with it.” Wild Orange – abundance – “I give thanks for the abundance in my life.”
Photo by: Jason Abdilla
May this new year open many possibilities in your life. May it bring you closer to yourself and those you love. May it deepen our ability to care for ourselves and each other.
My needs can be an offering and opening to greater connection.
I am human – I can’t be everything to everyone, and I don’t have to be good to be loved.
Body first, business second. -Kate Northrup
I am not responsible for others’ growth, I’m only here to love them through it.
I cannot tell the future.
I’m willing to live with myself, no matter what. I look forward to living with myself, no matter what.
To live my life, let my kids live theirs, and love them fiercely while doing it.
The best-case scenario is just as likely as the worst. Believe in it.
WHEN YOU’RE STUCK: Drop down into your body. Feel. Listen. Move. Turn it over. Offer it up. Do the work that’s yours to do. Let God do theirs.
I am a human, standing on a dog, standing on a crocodile -Mike McHargue, You’re a Miracle (And a Pain In The Ass): Embracing the Emotions, Habits, and Mystery That Make You You
To pay attention to and care about how I FEEL.
That when I imagine a future where I get sick and die – I’m living into a scenario that is out of my control. When I imagine a future where I keep showing up to what is, with gentleness and care for myself, I feel so much less anxiety. I’m living into a scenario that is within my control.
If we don’t wrestle with anger, we never get to the heartbreak. And if we don’t get to the heartbreak, we don’t get to the healing. -Lama Rod Owens, Love and Rage
Thank you for the joy.
I found joy in:
Deep cleaning – like, on hands and knees with a toothbrush
The Necessary Accessory of 2020
Long baths and lots of oils
Family TV watching: Ted Lasso, Bob’s Burgers, Blackish
Long walks
Exploring my neighborhood
Rhythms + Rituals – the daily chore list, morning meditation, evening gratitude, following the lunar cycle
Playing games – Superfight, Monopoly, Life, Cards Against Humanity
Grandma – even though she died in 2019, I felt the loss more deeply this year
Spending time with my siblings and their children
Traveling – to see Chris’ family in Boise, Oregon Country Fair, Brownlee, the beach
George Floyd, Breonna Taylor, Ahmaud Arbery, Riah Milton, Dominique Remmiefells
Ruth Bader Ginsburg
John Lewis
Oregon State Capitol in Smoke
Thank you for the teachers and mentors.
I welcomed new teachers and mentors:
Rachel Cargle
Morgan Harper Nichols
Colleen Jones
Prentis Hemphill
Sarah Gottesdiener
Marlee Grace
Emily and Amelia Nagoski
Alex Elle
Drew Hart
My 2020 contained so many FFTs (F**ing First Times – thank you, Brene Brown, for this descriptive term) – so much tragedy, loss, confusion, and struggle. It also contained magical synchronicity, unexpected joy, opportunities for rest, and deepened connection.
May we tuck away and integrate the lessons that are ours to carry forward, and may we leave behind what no longer serves us, as we cross the threshold from one year to the next.
One thing that unites many December holidays – is an honoring and celebration of LIGHT.
Being the darkest time of year in the Northern Hemisphere, we need intentional reminders that the light will return. This year maybe even more so than in other years.
Welcome the returning light
Photo by Davidson Luna
In our family, we’ve been lighting Advent candles, menorah candles, the Christmas tree, and the yule log. This time is always one of deep reflection, grief, gratitude, and the early whispers of coming dreams.
The time has come to do your annual reflection. You’ve got a few hours blocked, drinks and whatever you’ll need to stay comfortable and focused as you move through the materials you gathered.
If you want a recap on the materials to gather, start here.
As you begin your reflection, I’ve created a template that you can use.
Reflecting on this intense year will likely bring up stuff for us. Part of this process is to meet what comes up – starting now – from a place of gentleness and curiosity.
Essential oils to support reflection
Plants and elements from nature can support our emotional processing. Here’s an oil protocol to ground and center you, that encourages reflection and movement of stagnant energy. You can apply it daily during your reflection period.
Balance – grounds your energy and spirit in your body, allowing you to access greater intuition and supporting you as you process emotions.
Cardamom – calls difficult emotions out of hiding, allowing you to move, feel, and process them to completion.
Arborvitae – brings extra support and grace to your vulnerability.
Cypress – stirs up stagnant energy and encourages movement.
Lime – eases pain, helps you connect to gratitude within Life’s lessons.
Vetiver – helps you get in tune with your deepest emotions and desires.
Douglas Fir – calls in the wisdom and support of the generations who came before you.
Peppermint – infuses the process with clarity and playfulness.
Frankincense – opens you to divine wisdom, guidance, and truth.
Review
In order to cull all of the memories, milestones, themes and lessons from the past year, I first go back and do a month-by-month review.
Monthly Play-by-Play: Milestones, Important Events, Memories, Themes
Using your calendar, journals, notes, and photos, rewind to January. Put yourself back in that month, as gently as possible, and remember what you experienced.
Photo by Estee Janssens
On your Reflection Guide under the section titled “Monthly Play-by-Play”, make notes about each month.
What milestones did you cross?
What important events took place?
What memories do you have?
What themes were you working on or learning about?
What losses did you experience?
What did you celebrate?
What did you learn?
Stay with yourself
As you recall these memories, your nervous system will respond in kind. Let it.
Notice the emotions and sensations that are stirred in you. Breathe with them. Move with them. Cry with them. Laugh with them. Shake with them.
Be gentle and patient with yourself as you do the work of completing the stress cycle. This is a key practice in moving away from burnout.
Once you’ve made notes on each month of the past year, you’re ready to reflect on the year as a whole.
On your Reflection Guide, consider the highlights of the year.
What were the most important events of the whole year?
What were the major milestones?
What themes emerged and played out over the course of the year?
What were the main lessons?
Favorites
Now let yourself have some fun, recalling all of your favorites from the last year. Use the template categories to inspire your reminiscing, and add categories of your own!
Takeaways
Spend some time reflecting on, synthesizing, and summarizing your takeaways from the past year.
What are you ready to forgive yourself for?
What are you thankful for?
What are you grieving?
What will you leave in 2020?
What are you welcoming into your life in 2021?
Closing Ceremony
Congratulations!! You’ve completed your annual reflection.
You may feel many emotions after taking in your year as a whole. Closure, grief, gratitude, and sadness are all common. Completing a closing ceremony can help you to honor and embody all that you’ve reflected on.
There’s no right or wrong way to do a closing ceremony, so let yourself get creative. It can be as simple or as complex as you want!
The goal is to allow the energy from your reflections to manifest or be expressed tangibly.
Some ideas to inspire you:
Write on pieces of paper all that you’re grieving, forgiving, or wanting to leave behind, and then burn them in a fire.
Near the end of each season, I spend time reflecting on the previous three months and planning for the next three months.
At the end of the year, I reflect and review the past 12 months, giving gratitude, grieving, forgiving and releasing the year. I dream into the coming year, making plans and setting intentions.
I’m preparing for my 2020 reflection, and I’d love for you to join me!
Prepare to Engage
Over the course of this month, I’ll be sharing my process with you and invite you to share yours with me.
You can also of course keep your reflections and intentions private, and just use these posts as inspiration!
Prepare to Reflect: Set a time
Photo by Yeshi Kangrang
The first step in looking back over my year is to set aside a time to do it. There are a few parameters I consider:
When can I have everything gathered by? The list of what I like to gather is in the next section.
When do I have 2-3 hours to myself? If you need to break this up, schedule it in whatever increments will work for your schedule.
What time of day do I have the most energy? This reflection can be emotionally intense (especially after the kind of year we’ve just had) – schedule accordingly.
Once I’ve got my dates on the calendar, I know how much time I’ve got to gather my reflection items.
Prepare to Reflect: Gather
The next step in looking back over my whole year is to gather the tools and info that will help me.
Here’s what I gather:
Journals – I make a new one each month, so at the end of the year I have 12
Calendar – my Google calendar
Visioning + Intentions document – created the December before
Photos – I use Google photos, which makes it easier to jog my memory by looking up specific dates or locations
Photo by Pepe Reyes
Over the years I’ve made it easier on myself by keeping all of these things in specific places, so I don’t have to spend too much time looking for them.
If this is your first time, or you’re just developing your routines, do your future self a favor and spend some time getting intentional about where you keep your items during the year.
Thank yourself
If you’ve made it this far, preparing for your annual reflection, you’ve already given yourself a great gift!
Spending time with yourself, giving care and attention to all that you’ve been through in the past year, goes so far toward developing a loving relationship between you and you.
Photo by Juan Davila
Take a moment to thank yourself for devoting this time to you!
I look forward to sharing my review and reflection process with you next week! Until then, take such good care of your precious self.
Use this month to take stock of how far you’ve come this year. Over the course of the month I’ll be posting prompts for reflection and ideas for rituals that can support us.
May we take the lessons that are ours to carry forward, and leave the rest in 2020.
December Oil Protocol
December is a time for reflection and introspection. It’s a time to gather the lessons we learned over the course of the last year with curiosity and compassion.
Use this oil protocol to support your meditation and intention toward forgiveness, responsibility, and generational healing.
On Guard – Protective Blend – healthy boundaries, a sense of being protected and reinforced
Myrrh – The Oil of The Mother – a sense of safety in the world, healthy attachments, trust, and groundedness
Wild Orange – playfulness, creativity, joy
Fennel – taking responsibility, claiming oneself, developing a strong connection with one’s body, healing shame
Siberian Fir – forgiveness, generational healing, perspective, and wisdom
Douglas Fir – learning from the past, generational healing, renewed energy for a new chapter
Lemon – clarity, focus, supports thoughts which contribute to well-being
Frankincense – The Oil of The Father – truth, release lies and limiting beliefs, a sense of discernment, protection, and valuing oneself
Apply daily before meditation, journaling, bathtime, bedtime, or any other reflective practice.
Burnout Proof Academy Upcoming Workshops + Updates
We’re taking December off from Saturday School at Burnout Proof Academy. Thanks to everyone who attended November’s Healthy Boundaries LIVE workshop. It was a success! We had a wonderful turnout and so much rich discussion! It’s now available as a self-paced online course – you can get all the info and register here.
Wrapping up courses is our focus for December. If you are enrolled in a course that you would like CEUs for in 2020 and you haven’t yet completed and received your certificate – the deadline for completion is December 14th, 2020.
Looking Ahead to 2021
Our community has grown so much in 2020, and I’m so excited for all that’s in store in 2021. More opportunities for connection, learning, and self-reflection abound!
I needed the paperback and audio versions of this one, it’s just that good.
Back to Basics Saturday School LIVE Workshop – tentative date sometime in February 2021
Kickstart your new year by getting back to the basics with us! We’ll explore the foundational self-care practices of getting enough sleep, daily movement (aka: exercise), drinking enough water, and eating food that supports our well-being. Make sure you’re on the mailing list to get info about this workshop!
Burnout Proof Collective Gatherings
Our private Facebook group has grown so much closer in the last few months, and I’m so excited to deepen those relationships in 2021!! We’re working on plans for potential lesson units, virtual social gatherings, skill sharing, and mentoring. If you’d like to be a part of the fun, make sure you’ve joined the group here and turned on notifications!
This is a day that many in America celebrate by gathering together with loved ones for a special meal.
But what are we celebrating exactly?
Unlearning
I grew up experiencing Thanksgiving as a day of excitement and connection. I loved having family gathered together, eating my favorite foods, and even opening early Christmas presents from my snowbird grandparents.
I find myself contemplating how to honor and mourn the pain of others, support and work toward repairing equity for those who’ve been harmed, and celebrate the harvest in my own life today?
This reminds me of the inherent tension in paradox, and also the deep richness of compassion and healing that can happen when I’m willing to sit with the both/and. This is the power of re-membering – of bringing multiple and varied truths into the same space.
In Burnout: The Secret to Unlocking the Stress Cycle, Emily and Amelia Nagoski share a twist on the standard gratitude practice that gets at the heart of what matters for me.
They instruct us to, instead of giving thanks for what we have, practice gratitude for who you have and for how things happen.
This year I’m entering the holiday season feeling like I’ve been-through-some-shit. Maybe you are too? We worked. We stretched. We broke down. We found simple pleasures. We got up to do it all again. Even when it felt unbearable. Even when we were exhausted and the odds were bleak. We #persisted.
2020 was a dark night of the soul.
Here is a list of the who and how that I’m grateful for today:
Chris, my best friend and partner in life, who sees me and knows me – all of me – like I’ve never experienced, and loves me more because of it.
The three humans I get to share this journey with, who teach me more about myself and about life than any classroom or book ever could, who fill me with such joy, awe, and ridiculous laughter – I couldn’t have picked better ones for myself.
My parents, who I’m insanely thankful to still have on earth, and who I genuinely love spending time with and miss incredibly much while they’re away half the year enjoying the sunshine.
YOU – as you read this. You who bolster me and inspire me within this loving community of humans working on taking better care of our precious selves.
The way that life has unfolded. That even in the most devastatingly dark and scary times, there have been comforts and moments of magic and reminders of the love that I believe is at the center of everything.
Summer Porch Happy Hour with Chris, Brea, Mom, niece Dylan, and Dad
2020 Thanksgiving Reflection
What did Thanksgiving mean to you as a child? What does Thanksgiving mean to you now? How, if at all, are you honoring or celebrating this day?
Let’s start with a really tangible definition for the often nebulous concept of ‘boundaries’:
A boundary is a property line, as defined by Dr. Henry Cloud.
Photo by Rodrigo Kugnharski
The boundary tells you who controls the property, who has freedom and choices over the property, and who is responsible for the property.
Now let’s take that definition into the realm of our everyday lives, and pair it with a concept that can help us decipher our property lines.
Types of property
The property that boundaries are helpful for include:
Emotional – your feelings
Material – your things
Mental – your thoughts, ideas, and beliefs
Physical – your body
Time and Energy – your time and energy
Who owns the property?
According to Byron Katie, there are three kinds of ‘business’ in the universe. I like to think of this as ‘Who owns the property?’
Mine
Yours
The Rest (aka: God/Goddess/Universe/life/reality’s – pick the descriptor you resonate with)
I like to think of these three kinds of ‘business’ as three separate yards – like three pieces of property.
Mine – My yard contains those pieces of property that I control and am responsible for: what I do, what I say, how I feel*, how I spend my time and energy, my possessions and what I believe.
*Feelings get a little star, because they are by-products of our thoughts, beliefs, and circumstances – not as easily in our control, but nevertheless, still our property. You can read more about getting to know your garden here.
Yours – Your business is what you control and are responsible for. All those same bits of property: emotional, material, mental, physical, time and energy.
Life’s/God’s/reality – This is made up of all the things that are outside of my control and your control. Examples include: the past and the future, as well as elements of the weather, accidents, traffic, etc.
Photo by Brandon Nelson
Your map
With my yard, your yard, and Life’s yard, we’ve basically drawn ourselves a map of our existential ‘neighborhood’. Maps are cool on their own, don’t get me wrong, but the magic comes when we use them to navigate.
Some scenarios where this map comes in handy:
When you’re feeling stressed.
When you’re afraid someone will be upset with you.
When you feel compelled to say ‘yes’ even though you want to say ‘no’.
When you’re caught in the mental loop of ‘what if’s – worrying about the future.
When you’re upset or angry with someone else.
In any of these not-so-hypothetical cases, you can pull out your map and ask yourself: “Where am I?”
Photo by Daniel Gonzalez
Find yourself on the map: “Where am I?”
Let’s use an example from above, and ask this question: “Where am I?”
When I’m afraid you will be upset with me, the property I’m focused on is your feelings – specifically your feelings of being upset with me.
Whose yard do other people’s feelings reside in? Their yard. Their feelings are their responsibility. When I’m trying to take responsibility for them, I’ve left my own yard – walked right off my own property and onto theirs – which leaves no one home to care for me.
Walk yourself home
When you’ve found yourself trying to manage someone else’s property, walk yourself back home by asking:
“What’s my business?”
Identify what is in your control, or what is your responsibility, and take action.
That could look like:
Donating money, time, or resources to a cause you care about.
At first glance, boundaries can seem like a way to stop caring about anyone but yourself.
Let’s just sit with that. If you’re anything like me, that idea brings up a lot of fear about being selfish, putting my needs ahead of others, etc. When I pause, put my hand on my heart, and just feel those feelings of fear and guilt and breathe through them without feeding them more thoughts, they’re usually a lot quieter in 90 seconds or less.
The most compassionate people are absolutely the most boundaried.
Let that sink in.
The more I leave you to your work/business/journey/lessons, and the more I take responsibility for my own work/business/journey/lessons – the more compassion I’m able to have for you and what you’re going through!
Healthy boundaries are the foundation of empathy, authenticity, and accountability – and they’re an integral part of self-care.
I hope you’ll join us November 21st, 2020 for Healthy Boundaries for Interpreters. We’ll explore what healthy boundaries are, what makes them hard to hold, how to tune into your guidance system, and how to communicate your boundaries in a kind and honest way. I can’t wait to spend this time with you!
Let’s round out our gardening metaphor by planting new seeds in the fertile soil!
photo by Daniel Hajdacki
Once you’ve made space in your garden by pulling the weeds, it’s time to plant new seeds. New seeds are the thoughts and beliefs that you want to cultivate, that will serve you and help you to be your best. You can identify these thoughts by the way they make you feel: empowered, at peace, and motivated.
Affirmations
Creating affirmations is one way to plant new seeds of helpful thoughts.
“What’s a more empowering, kind, and true version of this story? What else might be going on here?”
Let’s take this unhelpful thought as an example:
“She doesn’t care about my needs.”
I notice that when I think this thought I feel sad, rejected, unimportant, and hurt. Not helpful in aligning me with my values of connection and curiosity. I feel shut down and withdrawn – rather than connected or curious.
So I ask myself, “What’s a more empowering, kind, and true version of this story? What else might be going on here?’ I like to use my journal for these questions, and just free write whatever comes to mind. You could also talk this through with a friend or therapist, or simply think about it throughout the day.
What else might be going on here?
In this scenario where I’m believing “She doesn’t care about my needs,” what else might be going on here is that she might be really focused on her own needs. I’m believing that she should be taking care of my needs – which on second glance I don’t actually agree with. A truer statement might be that I support her in taking care of her own needs, and I support me in taking care of mine.
This makes me curious about how I actually may not have been taking care of my own needs. I’ve been upset that she wasn’t caring for my needs, when in reality I was the one who was prioritizing her needs over my own.
The new seed
photo by David Travis
A more helpful thought could be: “I care about my needs,” or “I’m responsible for caring about my own needs.”
Check in with feelings
After identifying new seeds to plant, check out what feelings they spark.
When I think these new thoughts: “I care about my needs,” and “I’m responsible for caring about my own needs,” I feel a softening inside. I feel myself turn back toward myself, instead of being so focused on what the other person isn’t giving me.
When I think these new thoughts, I feel more calm, relieved, open-hearted, and curious. I feel more connected to myself, and I actually feel more connected to the other person as well.
Plant the seed
a lock screen reminder you can save on your phone
Planting the seed of this new helpful thought means installing it into your operating system, so that it can grow and flourish. This takes time and exposure. Reminders can be helpful!
I’m such a fan of sticky notes and lock screen reminders.
Sticky notes can go on your computer monitor, bathroom mirror, nightstand, kitchen cupboard, dashboard of your car, or anywhere else you spend time during the day.
A lock screen reminder is easy to create for your smartphone using an app like Word Swag or Canva.
Whatever will help you keep your new thought top-of-mind so it can grow roots and take hold.
Why isn’t my seed taking hold?
photo by Atanas Dzhingarov
Sometimes a new thought is too much of a stretch for our psyche to believe.
If you read your affirmation or new helpful thought, and you feel emotions or sensations like doubt, resistance, or skepticism, those emotions need tending before your new seed will take root.
Return to part 4 and give space and compassion to these emotions. Sometimes they just need to be witnessed, and they will dissipate on their own. Other times you may want to create a helpful thought that is more believable.
For example, if I felt skeptical when I thought, “I care about my needs,” that may simply not be true yet.
First, I would sit with the emotions that come up. I may feel sad that I haven’t cared about my own needs in the past. I might feel distrustful that I can be counted on to care about my own needs. I may feel doubtful that I can even figure out what my own needs are.
Just naming and witnessing these feelings is powerful. Placing a hand on your chest and imagining what you would say to a friend who was feeling these things can help you find compassion for yourself.
If at this point I decide that I want to find a new thought that’s more accessible or believable, I might play around with a few. Try them on and see how they feel! Some alternate, less-of-a-stretch thoughts might be:
I’m curious about my needs.
I’m willing to practice caring about my needs.
I’m willing to have needs.
When you land on a new thought that feels believable and helpful, then create your reminders and start rehearsing this new thought every chance you get!
photo by Douglas Hawkins
The gardening process
Pulling weeds and growing new plants is an ongoing process. Tending to our thoughts as we tend to a garden over time culminates in rich, fertile soil and a vibrant ecosystem of diverse, healthy life. It’s a moment-by-moment process that requires patience, persistence, and lots of self-compassion…and it’s so worth it.
Spend 5 minutes with your journal and one weed (unhelpful thought). Make a list of possible new helpful thoughts, and then try each of them on to see which feels best and is most believable.
Once you’ve identified the new seed you want to plant, create a reminder and put it somewhere you’ll see it daily!