Tag Archives: gratitude

Thanksgiving: What does it mean to you?

woman with black hair and a gray sweater throwing red, orange, and brown leaves in the air in front of her Tag: 2020 thanksgiving reflection

Photo by Jakob Owens

Happy Thanksgiving!

This is a day that many in America celebrate by gathering together with loved ones for a special meal. 

But what are we celebrating exactly?

Unlearning 

I grew up experiencing Thanksgiving as a day of excitement and connection. I loved having family gathered together, eating my favorite foods, and even opening early Christmas presents from my snowbird grandparents. 

Only as an adult did I learn that this day is not one of celebration or thanks for all Americans. This holiday signifies grief and loss for many indigenous people who’ve faced centuries of genocide, discrimination, and oppression. Here are the voices of four Native Americans sharing some of their feelings about this complicated holiday. 

Re-membering and reparation

I find myself contemplating how to honor and mourn the pain of others, support and work toward repairing equity for those who’ve been harmed, and celebrate the harvest in my own life today?

This reminds me of the inherent tension in paradox, and also the deep richness of compassion and healing that can happen when I’m willing to sit with the both/and. This is the power of re-membering – of bringing multiple and varied truths into the same space. 

This article describes how the LANDBACK movement can contribute to reparation – “getting indigenous lands back in indigenous hands.”

In light of this remembering and repairing, I’m honoring this day by eating a meal lovingly prepared with my family quarantine pod, naming and learning more about the first inhabitants of the land my family lives on, making a donation to our local Native American Youth and Family Center, and soaking in every bit of joy, connection, and gratitude that I can.

brown wood table with green and red apples, burlap and blue cloth napkins, a light blue plate with 4 forks tied together with white flowers and a brown crusted pie in a pie plate Tag: 2020 thanksgiving reflection

Photo By Annie Spratt

Gratitude

In Burnout: The Secret to Unlocking the Stress Cycle, Emily and Amelia Nagoski share a twist on the standard gratitude practice that gets at the heart of what matters for me.

They instruct us to, instead of giving thanks for what we have, practice gratitude for who you have and for how things happen.

This year I’m entering the holiday season feeling like I’ve been-through-some-shit. Maybe you are too? We worked. We stretched. We broke down. We found simple pleasures. We got up to do it all again. Even when it felt unbearable. Even when we were exhausted and the odds were bleak. We #persisted.

2020 was a dark night of the soul. 

Here is a list of the who and how that I’m grateful for today:

  • Chris, my best friend and partner in life, who sees me and knows me – all of me – like I’ve never experienced, and loves me more because of it.
  • The three humans I get to share this journey with, who teach me more about myself and about life than any classroom or book ever could, who fill me with such joy, awe, and ridiculous laughter – I couldn’t have picked better ones for myself.
  • My parents, who I’m insanely thankful to still have on earth, and who I genuinely love spending time with and miss incredibly much while they’re away half the year enjoying the sunshine.
  • YOU – as you read this. You who bolster me and inspire me within this loving community of humans working on taking better care of our precious selves. 
  • The way that life has unfolded. That even in the most devastatingly dark and scary times, there have been comforts and moments of magic and reminders of the love that I believe is at the center of everything. 
woman with short brown hair wearing a red and white floral mask on porch with table and chairs with 2 men and 2 women in the background sitting on porch chairs Tag: 2020 Thanksgiving reflection

Summer Porch Happy Hour with Chris, Brea, Mom, niece Dylan, and Dad

2020 Thanksgiving Reflection

What did Thanksgiving mean to you as a child?
What does Thanksgiving mean to you now?
How, if at all, are you honoring or celebrating this day?

Minding My Business: How I’m Making 2017 My Year

I don’t know about you, but right about now I’m more than a little concerned about the state of our country and our world. There are any number of terrifying scenarios that can (and do, sometimes) keep my brain running late into the night. At times the heaviness mounts to a pressure that threatens to crush my little spirit. How can we make a difference?
In these moments, especially, I lean heavily on my self-rescue toolbox. I push the pause button on my fear and I practice what I preach. I take a deep breath and channel Byron Katie: What’s my business? And I start there.
Some may wonder: How does this help? 
Well, let me tell you. When your airplane is going down and your cabin is losing pressure, you just must absolutely put on your own oxygen mask first. There is no way to be a hero, no way to comfort those around you, no way to make one smidge of difference until you are breathing yourself.
And so, here we are. In our plane which some might say is dangerously close to going down….and I’m putting on my mask.
What does that look like? You ask.
I’m happy to tell you.
Getting a Brighter Focus: Self-Rescue Blueprint
 
When I’m in need of a recalibration, this is my jam. There are probably millions of billions of ways to do each of these steps, so that’s where your own unique creativity comes in. Play with them, make it an experiment, and let me know how it goes!
 
  1. Get Quiet
  2. Think Big
  3. Start Small
  4. Give Thanks
Get Quiet
For me, this requires taking intentional space and time, alone, to just breathe and be. I absolutely must by comfy, so you’ll likely find me in slippers, soft pants, and a hoodie. I suggest you do the same. I might be biased.
Bre comfy
Spend some time, in this quiet alone space, with your breath. You might meditate. You might light a candle and sit in the dark. You might lie on your back and stare at the ceiling with your hands on your belly. You might be in a hot epsom salt bath. Whatever it is, just tune in to yourself and relax. Whenever I do this, I’m astonished by how much tension my body carries out of habit; and as soon as I notice it I feel it start to melt away. It is so magical, and so worth the 10 minutes!
During my quiet time I experiment with fun ways to help me get in touch with my spirit and the loving nature of the Universe. Pick one and start there. Some of my favorites right now:
sticky note affirmations
Think Big
 
Once I’m centered in myself and feeling calm and good, I want to take full advantage of the theta waves I’ve produced. I get to work. What to do while in this headspace?
Start Small
 
After getting all creative and big picture, it’s time to break it down. Teeny tiny bite-sized chunks is what we’re going for here. Whatever it is you just thought Big about, come up with the very smallest, very first thing you’ll need to do to scooch toward it.
Ask: What is the very next step?
 
And now, the hard part: Do that. At the very least, make a non-negotiable date in your calendar to get it done.
Give Thanks
 
Sometimes it’s easy to focus on all that didn’t go right, or what we wished we had, or on all that we’ve lost. When we can shift our focus, even just the tiniest bit, to what we do have, what went right, what gifts the challenge brought us, then a magical thing happens. We begin to take control of our own happiness. We transform our reality by changing our take on it. And it feels really fricking good in the moment. So now’s your chance…try it.
Ideas for finding gratitude:
i am only one
This process could take days or weeks, or it could take minutes. If you’re pressed for time, but committed to shifting your energy and effectiveness, make friends with your timer.
Let’s make 2017 the year we did not refuse to do the something that we could do. Will you join me?