Category Archives: How-To

What Others Think of You is None of Your Business

Think of a situation where you worry about what others might be thinking of you. 

So many of us experience this. This is a big one for me – really caring about how others see me and caring about others’ experience of me. Often that takes me outside of what’s actually mine to control, what’s really my responsibility. 

So you’re worried about what others might be thinking of you. What kind of situations does this happen to you in? Maybe in some places in our lives we’re more susceptible to being worried about what someone else thinks of us. Maybe in some situations we’re less concerned about that and we feel clearer within ourselves.

Something to notice in these situations where we’re concerned about what someone else thinks of us is first we don’t get to control what others think. We’re never in their minds, even if we can play a part that might influence them one way or another. We don’t control what others think of us. 

I love a saying that I hear often and I repeat to myself often – what others think of me is none of my business. 

That’s not our business, what others think of us. 

What is more helpful and the reminder I want to share with all of us today is that I am responsible for what I think of me. What I think of myself is what matters more. 

✔Am I living up to my values?
✔Am I operating in a way that really aligns with how I want to show up in the world? 

That’s what I have control over. That’s what I can do something about. That’s the metric I want to measure and I want to live my life by. 

Whose Yard Are You In?

fenced in yard with yellow flowers and green grass with lambs laying on the ground; Tag: what others think of you

Photo by Jalen Hueser

There are two kinds of yards:

My yard >> My thoughts, my feelings, my actions, my words. 

These are all things that are mine. These are the things that live in my yard, that are in my domain. These are the things that I’m responsible for. 

Someone else’s yard >> Their thoughts, their feelings, their actions, their words. 

I can care about someone else deeply, but I can only do it from my yard. If I go over into their yard and worry about:

❌What they’re thinking about me
❌What they’re feeling
❌What they’re doing
❌What they’re saying 

Then that means I have abandoned my yard. I’ve abandoned myself. I’ve abandoned my responsibilities. I’m not taking care of me or what I need to be taking care of because I’m over there trying to take care of what they should be taking care of.  

If you find yourself in someone else’s yard, don’t worry! All you have to do is go back to your yard and remind yourself, “I’m responsible for what I think of me. What do I think of me?” 

TIP: Those thoughts we’re talking about, “what I think of me…” those are thoughts, those are like clouds that pass through our mind. We’re not even really in control of our thoughts! Thoughts come and go. They’re projections of the mind and the brain. What I’m more responsible for, if we want to get really nuanced here with our language, I’m responsible for those thoughts that I attach to, those thoughts that I believe. 

I love the sign for believe. Think – marry. 

A belief is a thought that I marry, that I attach to. I choose to bring this thought into my world. 

I get to choose what thoughts I attach to, what I believe, what I believe about myself. That’s mine to manage, that’s mine to take care of. 

brown skinned woman standing near a pink flower tree smiling with her eyes closed, Tag: what others think of you

Photo by James Resly

Final Thoughts

A reminder as you move through your days and weeks (or even just this moment):

Pay attention to what the thoughts are in your mind. Where are you worried about what someone else is thinking of you? Come back to your own yard and ask yourself these questions:

🌱What am I responsible for in this moment?
🌱What do I think of me?
🌱What am I thinking of me right now?

This is a mindfulness practice. This is just noticing where our thoughts go and gently bringing us back to our center. That’s what meditation can be. That’s what any kind of mindfulness practice can be. 

Paying attention on purpose to the present moment without judgment

Sometimes our judgments of ourselves are what we’ll really notice here. When I come back to the present moment and I pay attention to what my thoughts are, I notice — “Oh there’s a lot of judgment against myself right there.” 

Can I let that be here too? Can I come back to a place of love for myself even with my human brain that wants to judge? Because that’s what our brains do. 

Click here to participate in the discussion and let us know in the comments:

Where does this show up for you?
What is challenging about this for you?
What have you found helps you come back to responsibility for yourself and noticing what you think of yourself and really caring for that relationship that you have with yourself? 


You’re Invited

Join our free support community, The Burnout Proof Collective, to connect with interpreters, teachers, and parents who are working on taking better care of themselves too. This is the best way to get personal support from Brea and to go deeper with your self-care!

Click here to join

blue background, yellow heart, text reads: Burnout Proof Collective. Image: 2 people with arms linked, smiling at the camera, the one on the left has brown skin, short bleached hair, glasses, and a black leather biker jacket, the one on the right is white with long blonde hair walking in front of a group of smiling people of varying skin tones. Tag: what others think of you

Goodbye 2020, Hello 2021: Preparing for my annual reflection

blue background with black text goodbye Tag: goodbye 2020 annual reflection

Photo by Renee Fisher

Goodbye 2020: Annual Reflection

Near the end of each season, I spend time reflecting on the previous three months and planning for the next three months.

At the end of the year, I reflect and review the past 12 months, giving gratitude, grieving, forgiving and releasing the year. I dream into the coming year, making plans and setting intentions.

I’m preparing for my 2020 reflection, and I’d love for you to join me!

Prepare to Engage

Over the course of this month, I’ll be sharing my process with you and invite you to share yours with me. 

Here’s how you can participate:

  • Joining The Burnout Proof Interpreter Collective private Facebook group where we’ll be sharing and discussing our reflections and intentions
  • Sharing your reflection and intentions in the comments below as we move through the month
  • Replying to my weekly email love note where I’ll be sending out prompts and my own reflections

You can also of course keep your reflections and intentions private, and just use these posts as inspiration!

Prepare to Reflect: Set a time

man's hand holding a glass ball with a tree with pink flowers in the background and the sunset behind the trees Tag: goodbye 2020 annual reflection

Photo by Yeshi Kangrang

The first step in looking back over my year is to set aside a time to do it. There are a few parameters I consider:

  • When can I have everything gathered by? The list of what I like to gather is in the next section.
  • When do I have 2-3 hours to myself? If you need to break this up, schedule it in whatever increments will work for your schedule.
  • What time of day do I have the most energy? This reflection can be emotionally intense (especially after the kind of year we’ve just had) – schedule accordingly.

Once I’ve got my dates on the calendar, I know how much time I’ve got to gather my reflection items. 

Prepare to Reflect: Gather

The next step in looking back over my whole year is to gather the tools and info that will help me. 

Here’s what I gather:

  • Journals – I make a new one each month, so at the end of the year I have 12
  • Calendar – my Google calendar
  • Visioning + Intentions document – created the December before
  • Photos – I use Google photos, which makes it easier to jog my memory by looking up specific dates or locations
person standing on a beach in the distance with mountains in the background and a sunset reflected in the water Tag: goodbye 2020 annual reflection

Photo by Pepe Reyes

Over the years I’ve made it easier on myself by keeping all of these things in specific places, so I don’t have to spend too much time looking for them. 

If this is your first time, or you’re just developing your routines, do your future self a favor and spend some time getting intentional about where you keep your items during the year.

Thank yourself

If you’ve made it this far, preparing for your annual reflection, you’ve already given yourself a great gift! 

Spending time with yourself, giving care and attention to all that you’ve been through in the past year, goes so far toward developing a loving relationship between you and you. 

green evergreen forest of trees on the edge of a lake with fog coming off the water at the trees edge Tag: goodbye 2020 annual reflection

Photo by Juan Davila

Take a moment to thank yourself for devoting this time to you!

I look forward to sharing my review and reflection process with you next week! Until then, take such good care of your precious self.

Learn to Love ‘No’: Healthy Boundaries for Interpreters

Red background, stenciled and distressed lettering in yellow, "No". Tags: healthy boundaries interpreters

Photo by Gemma Evans on Unsplash

“No” is a complete sentence.

What do you think about that? Do you actually believe it? As a hard-core people pleaser, I thought it was total BS. I’ve had a difficult history with this tiny two-letter sentence. Every time I wanted to use it, I’d feel such a rush of guilt, pressure, and fear that I’d say ‘yes’ instead, just to avoid those feelings.

I’d think:

‘What if I upset the person I’m saying ‘no’ to?’
‘What if they don’t like me anymore? What if they think I’m inconsiderate, lazy, mean. Or what if they think that I don’t like them?!”
‘Is there any way that I could do this thing they’re asking me to do?’

I’d do anything to avoid saying ‘no,’ at the expense of my health, peace of mind, and even my relationship with the other person. Yes – even my relationships were at stake. Because, like any good people-pleaser, I was an expert at resentment. I would say ‘yes,’ to avoid saying ‘no,’ and then I would be so upset with myself that it would bleed into our relationship – I’d be upset with them by proxy.

As I became aware of the effects my unwillingness to say ‘no’ was having, there’s something that helped this lesson to sink in.

When you say “no” to one thing, you’re saying “yes” to something else.
When you say “yes” to one thing, you’re saying “no” to something else.

Ahh…now things started to get interesting! There are two sides to this coin – a relationship between what I choose to give my time and energy to and what I don’t.

I began to see that I was always saying ‘no’ to something! Just, sometimes I wasn’t aware of it. And you know what I think about awareness…it’s the first magic-key to everything we want.

Dark wall background with white neon sign, "YES YES". Tags: healthy boundaries interpreters

Photo by Michèle Eckert on Unsplash

Start with ‘Yes’

Saying ‘no’ is a bazillion times easier when you’re clear on what you’re saying ‘yes’ to instead. Know your top priorities. Identify your values or guiding principles.

If you’ve already identified that one of your core values is ‘family’, and you get a job request at the same time that your child has a special dance performance, it’s easier to know which to say ‘yes’ to (the dance performance!).

If your focus for the month is on improving your organizational systems for your business, and you come across a parenting conference that sparks your interest, you can check with your current priorities to know that the parenting conference can wait until next year. You’re saying ‘yes’ to sticking with your organizational focus.

Ask for Time

Jiu jitsu is one of my favorite sports. One of the reasons is because being good at it doesn’t rely on strength or size. Practitioners who excel are masters at using natural forces of gravity and leverage to assist their bodies in subduing their opponents.

Background half pink, half blue, with an old fashioned alarm clock in the middle. Tags: healthy boundaries interpreters

Photo by Icons8 Team on Unsplash

Here’s a jiu jitsu move for learning to love ‘no’:
Ask for time to consider the request.

Practice these phrases:

“Let me think about it.”
“Let me check in with my  priorities/needs/calendar.”
“I’ll get back to you.”

And don’t forget your love or kind regard for the person to whom you’re speaking! Put these phrases together with your genuine feelings, and you become a master at communicating your boundaries in a way that actually strengthens relationships.

“Thanks so much for the invitation! Let me check in with my priorities for that week and I’ll get back to you tomorrow. Does that sound ok?”

Take action

Here’s something you can do today to baby-step your way toward learning to love no:
Download the “Hell, YES!” Checklist, and use it to help you tune into your inner “YES.”
Comment below to share what you use it for and how it goes.

Reflection

Grab your journal and reflect:

  • What, in the last week, did you want to say ‘no’ to, but didn’t?
  • When you think of that moment that you wanted to say ‘no’, what feelings and sensations were you having in your body?
  • What did you actually want to say ‘yes’ to, in that situation?
  • If you had a ‘do-over’, what would you rather have said?

Healthy Boundaries for Interpreters

Four resources to deepen your exploration with healthy boundaries:

Nope Hand Lettering On Wood and Glass. Tags: healthy boundaries interpreters

Photo by Daniel Herron on Unsplash

  1. Register for Burnout Proof 101 – A live one-hour webinar workshop exploring boundaries, joy, energy and more. Sept 30th, 2020. 0.1 CEUs.
  2. Self-Care: Thriving in Times of Uncertainty – RID VIEWS Nov 2019 Self-Care column with tips for tending to the body, mind, and heart during stressful times.
  3. Brene Brown’s advice on how to set boundaries – article from Brene Brown on setting boundaries
  4. Boundaries with Brene Brown – YouTube interview with Brene Brown

We are all in this together, dear one, and we need your deepest inner knowing and wisdom engaged as we work to create this equitable new world. Take it one tiny baby-step at a time, and remember I’m here to support you!

Sending so much love today and every day.
xo,
Brea

How to Add Subtitles to Your Videos

As ASL interpreters, we know our videos must be captioned and accessible to Deaf and hard of hearing people – now more than ever. Subtitles are also good for hearing people who are in noisy places and can’t hear the audio, people who are in quiet places and don’t want to disturb those around them, English language learners….

Basically adding subtitles to your videos is good for everyone!!

But how do you make subtitles happen?!

I’ve been learning through trial and error over the last few years, testing out all the no-cost options I could find, and here’s what I’ve learned.

Get ready, this post is loooooong. You might want to bookmark it now to refer back to as you need it, and take breaks as you go through this. You know, self-care!

Here we go!!!  Continue reading