Tag Archives: boundaries

What are your summer self-care plans?

Summer Self-Care Plans

The past year has been a doozy!!! As more people get vaccinated, COVID restrictions are lifting, and we are navigating the potential return to more face-to-face time.

Gathering with others in person might be what you’ve hoped and dreamed for, it might be stirring up your deepest fears and anxieties, or you may be feeling both excitement and dread simultaneously. Here’s a helpful article I read this week titled, Advice to the anxious for eventually meeting in person again. I’m definitely in the anxious/excited mixed-emotions camp!

The bottom line is: whatever your reaction to this transition…

You’re normal!!

This is a good time to create or update your self-care plan to support your transition to summer and to ease your nervous system through another shift. Here’s part 1 of a series to help you be with difficult feelings – like the ones you might be having now – and to give you tools to take with you into the summer:

Click here to read Self-Care Strategies for Fear part 1

Summer 2021 at Burnout Proof Academy – What’s on your summer reading list?

We had such an amazing time in our first Book Club live discussion! We dove deep into Burnout: The Secret to Unlocking the Stress Cycle.

If you are reading along with us but were unable to make the live discussion, the recording is now posted here.

This hour was packed with poignant honesty and real-time revelations, including real talk about:

The ‘yuck’ that’s leftover after handling a problem.
How holding everything in and doing for everybody else keeps us up late at night.
The shame we feel from HAVING emotions.
Taking up a hugging practice
The struggle of saying what we need or how we feel.
The inbox in our gut where we store our uncompleted stress.
That it’s ok not to be ok.

This is an on-demand, self-paced book club offering worth 1.3 GS CEUs. If you haven’t yet registered just click below and you’ll get instant access to everything!

Click here for instant access

Cast Your Vote for Fall Burnout Proof Book Club

Text: What book should we read next? Take our short survey to cast your vote! Image: white distress wall with stack of old books to the right of the picture with a variety of colored pages and binding. Tag: summer self-care

Our first book club was so much fun! I can’t wait until we get started on our next book in the fall 2021. But I need your help deciding which book we’ll be reading next.

Currently tied for first:

Vote for your choice here!

Healing Interpreter Burnout: Complete Your Stress Cycle

Group Study Guide coming soon!

Image description: background image is a teal underwater shot. White text reads, "Growth requires that we step out of our comfort zone and spend time with the discomfort of change, uncertainty, getting it wrong, and trying again" -Brea Cross-Caldwell, VIEWS August 2020. Tag: summer self-care

Image: The Insightful Interpreter

Are you feeling exhausted?

Burnout and emotional exhaustion can have negative impacts on your health, relationships, and work.

It can be hard to know how to rescue yourself, let alone find the energy to take positive steps.

Good news! You don’t have to live like this. A long, fulfilling career is within your grasp. This course can help.

You will explore:

Your stress cycle: what it is, how to complete it, and how it affects you when you don’t
Techniques for self-regulation that you can use during your work day
How to form and integrate new, healthy habits to help heal and prevent burnout

0.35 GS CEUs through The Insightful Interpreter, processed by Interpretek

Click here for instant access

June 2021 Oil Protocol

Give yourself over to review, renewal, reflection, and rest, as you cross the threshold from spring to summer.

Slow down.

Give yourself permission to feel the sun on your cheek, the breath in your lungs, even the frustrations and the hurts. Make a deal with yourself to offer patience and curiosity whenever possible.

This oil protocol will serve as a reminder and energetic guide.

light blue background with a white box, rest, release, renew june oil protocol thyme sacrum, wintergreen navel to solar plexis, ylang ylang heart space, basil across back at waist, magnolia heart, throat forehead, frankincense, crown, tag: summer self-care

Thyme – release and forgive
Wintergreen – surrender
Ylang ylang – connect with your inner child
Basil – renewal
Magnolia – compassion
Frank – truth

Dilute essential oils with a carrier oil for increased efficacy and decreased skin sensitivity.

Get 1.65 CEUs for taking care of yourself this month

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Photo of adult, short bleached hair, golden tawny skin tone, wearing glasses and headphones, tattoos on neck and hand, hand on chest, smiling at the camera with tongue playfully out. Tag: may 2021 self-care

Image: Joshua McArthur on Unsplash

May 2021 Self-Care at Burnout Proof Academy

Welcome to May! We’ve been busy creating new burnout support offerings, and are so excited to share them with you.

Burnout Proof Book Club

We had such an amazing time in our first Book Club live discussion! We dove deep into Burnout: The Secret to Unlocking the Stress Cycle.

If you are reading along with us but were unable to make the live discussion, the recording is now posted here.

This hour was packed with poignant honesty and real-time revelations, including real talk about:

The ‘yuck’ that’s leftover after handling a problem.
How holding everything in and doing for everybody else keeps us up late at night.
The shame we feel from HAVING emotions.
Taking up a hugging practice
The struggle of saying what we need or how we feel.
The inbox in our gut where we store our uncompleted stress.
That it’s ok not to be ok.

This is an on-demand, self-paced book club offering worth 1.3 GS CEUs. If you haven’t yet registered just click below and you’ll get instant access to everything!

Click here for instant access

Healing Interpreter Burnout: Complete Your Stress Cycle

0.35 GS CEUs through The Insightful Interpreter, processed by Interpretek

Why complete your stress cycle?

You might be experiencing burnout. Burnout and emotional exhaustion can have negative impacts on your health, relationships, and work.

It can be hard to know how to rescue yourself, let alone find the energy to take positive steps.

Good news! You don’t have to live like this. A long, fulfilling career is within your grasp. This course can help.

You will explore:

Your stress cycle: what it is, how to complete it, and how it affects you when you don’t
Techniques for self-regulation that you can use during your work day
How to form and integrate new, healthy habits to help heal and prevent burnout

Click here for instant access

May 2021 Self-Care Oil Protocol

Are you growing in new or uncomfortable ways?
Do you feel like you’re shedding an old skin?

orange background. brighter focus logo. text reads: shed the old. oregano | along spine. marjoram | across chest. arborvitae | navel + crown. neroli | heart + inside wrists. @brighterfocus Tag: may 2021 self-care

Oregano – Stop trying to play God. Reconnect to your own and others’ humanity. Sidestep judgement and invite compassion. Accept your imperfections while opening to curiosity and grace.

Marjoram – Connect. Connect with yourself, connect with others. Loving relationships can heal the most painful scars. Invest in them. Open to them.

Arborvitae – Grace surrounds you. Receive it. Rest in it in every moment that you’re able. Soak it up and learn to trust in it.

Neroli – Partner with Life. Believe that it’s on your side. Acknowledge the way it works in you – your feelings and intuitions are a part of Life’s communication network.

May we find peace and growth in the in-between times. May the rain showers and sunbeams remind cleanse and warm us. May we keep reaching deeper inward, and ever toward one another.

I look forward to all the ways we’ll connect in the month ahead!

Signature: With love and bright focus, Brea

February Oil Protocol and Self-Care Workshops

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Welcome to February!

This new month brings with it a fresh look for Brighter Focus, as we unveil our new logo created by my talented and intuitive dear friend, Makenna O’Keeffe.

brighter focus yellow background with green mountains, blue river, and orange sun. tag: february 2021 self-care

Look for this beauty to be popping up on social media, in emails, and on our websites – give it a like and let us know what you think!

February 2021 Self-Care at Burnout Proof Academy

We’ve been busy creating new burnout support offerings, and are so excited to share them with you!

Burnout Proof Book Club

The long awaited Book Club is finally here! Join us for this deep dive into a foundational and transformational Burnout Proof text:

Burnout: The Secret to Unlocking the Stress Cycle

burnout proof book club, burnout: the secret to unlocking the stress cycle tag: february 2021 self-care

This course is available on-demand, so you can read along at your own pace and go deeper in the online discussion forums. We’ll do a live discussion through zoom on April 28, 2021 from 5:00 – 6:00 pm pacific – I hope to see you there! If you can’t make the live discussion, the recording will be posted so you won’t miss a thing.

Self-Care Spotlight | Juggling: How To Learn About Daily Life Through Circus Skills

self care spotlight juggling life, how to learn about daily life through circus skills live in the burnout proof collective facebook group february 11th 2021 4 pm pst with sandra leith. tag: february 2021 self-care

Self-Care Spotlights are returning to The Burnout Proof Collective Facebook group! I’m so excited to kick off a new round with Sandra Leith, sharing her passion for juggling and how we can use circus arts to practice flexibility with LIFE.

You can catch her live broadcast in the group on Thursday, February 11th, at 4:00 pm pacific.

Healthy Boundaries has a new look!

After hosting the live Healthy Boundaries workshop in November, we’ve been editing and processing of the 2-hour long video to get bite-sized chunks you can stream on-demand. Online activities get added, captions are created, and now we’re ready to share the finished product with you!

You can begin the new + improved Healthy Boundaries workshop today!

Who’s ‘we’?

You may have noticed that Brighter Focus is now a ‘we’ – I’m so excited to introduce you to the organizational brain behind Brighter Focus, Courtney Williams. She keeps all of our projects running on time, and has added so much joy to the process!

woman with husband and four kids standing in front of a christmas tree, tag: february 2021 self-care

Courtney began her virtual assistant journey in August of 2019. She’s an Enneagram 2 so helping people brings her so much joy! When she’s not helping Brea manage all of her projects, you can find Courtney snuggling with her 5 kids on the couch watching Disney movies, drinking sweet tea, and eating chocolate.

Courtney also has a website where she talks about her grief journey of losing her 4-year-old son, Sam in 2017. You can read her story of loss and hope at www.unlockingjoy.com.

February Oil Protocol

February Oil Protocol. Oregano - crown of head. Lemon Eucalyptus - solar plexus. Siberian Fir - tops of shoulders. Petitgrain - soles of feet. Sandalwood - heart space. Neroli - inside wrists. @brighterfocus tag: february 2021 self-care

February entered with fresh hope and much work to be done. The focus is on embodying qualities of focus, perseverance, and wisdom – while gathering comfort and gentleness for ourselves. It can be a tricky balance some days!

As you apply these oils, bring your attention to your senses:

Inhale the fragrance of each oil separately, and the combinations
Feel your own touch as you apply them to your body lovingly
See the colors of the bottles and the amber drops of liquid
Set intentions with each oil application, grounding yourself in what you know to be true

Here are some properties of each oil*, to inspire your intentions:

Oregano – humility and non-attachment
Lemon Eucalyptus – comfort during rapid change
Siberian Fir – grief, perspective, adaptability
Petitgrain – cultivating healthy traditions and connections
Sandalwood – spiritual clarity
Neroli – empathy, cooperation, resilience

*From Emotions and Essential Oils: A Reference Guide for Emotional Healing

May this new month bring you comfort and continued growing self-awareness. May you feel the strength to persevere in the work that’s yours to do, and may you know the grace of rest and joy.

I’m so glad to be on this journey with you.

Signature: With love and bright focus, Brea. tag: february 2021 self-care

Healthy Boundaries: Walk Yourself Home

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gray rock mountain range with green pine tries, pink sky, and sun rays in top right corner with quote from Brene Brown "Daring to set boundaries is about having the courage to love ourselves, even when we risk disappointing others." Tag: healthy boundaries self-care

Healthy boundaries can be hard to identify and maintain. Here’s one concept that can help.

We’ll be diving further into Healthy Boundaries this weekend in our LIVE Saturday School workshop on November 21st, 2020.
Check it out and register here to join us!

Let’s start with a really tangible definition for the often nebulous concept of ‘boundaries’:

A boundary is a property line, as defined by Dr. Henry Cloud.

aerial view of blue rectangle tennis court with 2 people playing tennis with a green border around the tennis court and a fence around the court Tag: healthy boundaries self-care

Photo by Rodrigo Kugnharski

The boundary tells you who controls the property, who has freedom and choices over the property, and who is responsible for the property.

Now let’s take that definition into the realm of our everyday lives, and pair it with a concept that can help us decipher our property lines.

Types of property

The property that boundaries are helpful for include:

Emotional – your feelings
Material – your things
Mental – your thoughts, ideas, and beliefs
Physical – your body
Time and Energy – your time and energy

Who owns the property?

According to Byron Katie, there are three kinds of ‘business’ in the universe. I like to think of this as ‘Who owns the property?’

Mine
Yours
The Rest (aka: God/Goddess/Universe/life/reality’s – pick the descriptor you resonate with)

I like to think of these three kinds of ‘business’ as three separate yards – like three pieces of property.

Mine – My yard contains those pieces of property that I control and am responsible for: what I do, what I say, how I feel*, how I spend my time and energy, my possessions and what I believe.

*Feelings get a little star, because they are by-products of our thoughts, beliefs, and circumstances – not as easily in our control, but nevertheless, still our property. You can read more about getting to know your garden here.

Yours – Your business is what you control and are responsible for. All those same bits of property: emotional, material, mental, physical, time and energy.

Life’s/God’s/reality – This is made up of all the things that are outside of my control and your control. Examples include: the past and the future, as well as elements of the weather, accidents, traffic, etc.

aerial view of a twisty road with cars driving the road and houses and buildings on both sides of the road with green trees scattered throughout Tag: healthy boundaries self-care

Photo by Brandon Nelson

Your map

With my yard, your yard, and Life’s yard, we’ve basically drawn ourselves a map of our existential ‘neighborhood’. Maps are cool on their own, don’t get me wrong, but the magic comes when we use them to navigate.

Some scenarios where this map comes in handy:

When you’re feeling stressed.
When you’re afraid someone will be upset with you.
When you feel compelled to say ‘yes’ even though you want to say ‘no’.
When you’re caught in the mental loop of ‘what if’s – worrying about the future.
When you’re upset or angry with someone else.

In any of these not-so-hypothetical cases, you can pull out your map and ask yourself:
“Where am I?”

woman with blond hair wearing a brown sweater with a blue jean jacket and black pants standing in the middle of the road holding a map with green trees on the side of the road and white fog in the distance Tag: healthy boundaries self-care

Photo by Daniel Gonzalez

Find yourself on the map: “Where am I?”

Let’s use an example from above, and ask this question: “Where am I?”

When I’m afraid you will be upset with me, the property I’m focused on is your feelings – specifically your feelings of being upset with me.

Whose yard do other people’s feelings reside in? Their yard. Their feelings are their responsibility. When I’m trying to take responsibility for them, I’ve left my own yard – walked right off my own property and onto theirs – which leaves no one home to care for me.

Walk yourself home

When you’ve found yourself trying to manage someone else’s property, walk yourself back home by asking:

“What’s my business?”

Identify what is in your control, or what is your responsibility, and take action.

That could look like:

Donating money, time, or resources to a cause you care about.
Sitting with your uncomfortable feelings.
Creating a workshop to share a new perspective or tool.
Completing your stress cycle by exercising, breathing, or enjoying time with a friend.

Do boundaries make me self-centered?

At first glance, boundaries can seem like a way to stop caring about anyone but yourself.

Let’s just sit with that. If you’re anything like me, that idea brings up a lot of fear about being selfish, putting my needs ahead of others, etc. When I pause, put my hand on my heart, and just feel those feelings of fear and guilt and breathe through them without feeding them more thoughts, they’re usually a lot quieter in 90 seconds or less.

Here’s the real truth that I invite you to experiment with for yourself, straight from Brene Brown’s research:

The most compassionate people are absolutely the most boundaried.

Let that sink in.

The more I leave you to your work/business/journey/lessons, and the more I take responsibility for my own work/business/journey/lessons – the more compassion I’m able to have for you and what you’re going through!

Healthy boundaries are the foundation of empathy, authenticity, and accountability – and they’re an integral part of self-care.

For more on staying in your own business and listening to your intuition as an interpreter, check out this RID VIEWS column – Self-Care: Caring For Ourselves Within a Community.

green pine trees with green and brown grass in the background with a white transparent square including text "compassionate people ask for what they need. they say no when they need to, and when they say yes, they mean it. they're compassionate because their boundaries keep them out of resentment. brene brown, rising strong" Tag: healthy boundaries self-care

Healthy Boundaries for Interpreters

I hope you’ll join us November 21st, 2020 for Healthy Boundaries for Interpreters. We’ll explore what healthy boundaries are, what makes them hard to hold, how to tune into your guidance system, and how to communicate your boundaries in a kind and honest way. I can’t wait to spend this time with you!

Get all the info and register here

Reflection

Take a few minutes to journal and reflect, and then share with us in the comments:

Describe a time that healthy boundaries – yours or someone else’s – created a space for more compassion.

Want to be notified when new posts come out? Sign up here for my weekly love note.

November Workshops | Burnout Proof Academy Self-Care CEUs for Sign Language Interpreters

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purple, blue, teal background "burnout proof academy online. self-paced. self-care CEUs for sign language interpreters" white heart with dashes around it. burnoutproof.me Tag: november workshops self-care ceus

November 2020 at Burnout Proof Academy

Here are the highlights of what ‘s happening this month at Burnout Proof Academy:

Healthy Boundaries for Interpreters – 0.2 GS CEUs – Our Saturday School LIVE workshop is happening on November 21st, 2020 from 10 am to noon pacific. Join us to discuss this tricky topic and develop tools to make holding clear, kind, healthy boundaries much easier. Saturday School LIVE workshops are a great opportunity to get to know other interpreters who are struggling with burnout and working on taking better care of themselves!

Self-Care for Stressful Times – 0.2 GS CEUs – Have you heard this episode of Brene Brown’s Unlocking Us podcast on burnout and completing the stress cycle? Do yourself a favor – listen now, and then register for Self-Care for Stressful Times! You’ll come away with more awareness of your own stress responses, specific supports that help you complete your stress cycle, and a plan for turning these actions into habits.

Put On Your Raincoat: Energetic Protection for Sign Language Interpreters – 0.5 GS CEUs – Interpreting work is sticky – especially in 2020! In this workshop you’ll create a raincoat to protect yourself from the energetic effects of interpreting work, with practices of self-reflection, self-compassion, and mindfulness.

Check out our full list of courses here + sign up to get email updates and self-care support here.

I look forward to spending time with you soon at Burnout Proof Academy!
With love + bright focus,
Brea

Tend Your Feelings | Self-Care Strategies for Fear part 4

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This is part 4 in a series on Self-Care Strategies for Fear. You can find part 1 here, part 2 here, and part 3 here.

Tiger laying on the ground with stars above its head. Six circles of varying colors with words inside: Text: Emotional Regulation 101 @seerutkchawla, Name it, Accept it is happening, Pause, breathe, delay response, Self-soothe, Be curious, compassionate, honest, Allow it to run it's course, Tag: tend feelings self-care strategies

Emotional Regulation 101 @seerutkchawla

Tending Feelings Self-Care Strategies for Fear

As you’re spending time in your garden, you’ll notice uncomfortable emotions. This might be one reason you struggle to make time for yourself.

Emotions can be very inconvenient, downright painful, and at times excruciating.

Emotions are also called feelings, because we feel them in our bodies. Feeling things in our bodies is something that Americans in general, and white Americans 🙋 in particular, often avoid. This avoidance of feeling our feelings is at the root of many of our distraction-techniques and addictions.

How emotions relate to burnout

The first warning light that signaled my burnout was physical pain. I was unable to sleep, run, play with my kids, do yoga, or even brush my teeth without shooting, aching, burning pain in my wrist, arm, shoulder, neck, and head. I tried all the typical physical healing modalities I had access to: supplements, physical therapy, diet, chiropractic treatments, acupuncture treatments.

It wasn’t until I explored my experience of the pain with my own coach, that I began to uncover the years of emotions that were just sitting in my internal waiting room – begging to be heard. Together in that safe container of support, we made space for guilt, anger, sadness, regret, feelings of unworthiness, fear, and finally hope, joy, pleasure, and love.

Emily and Amelia Nagoski wrote a whole, amazing book on this subject. They say, “Emotions are tunnels. If you go all the way through them, you get to the light at the end. Exhaustion happens when we get stuck in an emotion.”

Let that sink in.

Blue, green, yellow, brown, purple background with a heart shaped gray key at the top. Text: The stress itself will kill you faster than the stressor will - unless you do something to complete the stress response cycle. While you're managing the day's stressors, your body is managing the day's stress. It's absolutely essential to your well-being that you give your body the resources it needs to complete the stress response cycles that have been activated. Quote by Emily and Amelia Nagoski. Authors, Burnout: The Secret to Unlocking the Stress Cycle. Unlocking Us: Podcast with Brene Brown. Tag: tend feelings self-care strategies

Quote by Emily and Amelia Nagoski @brenebrown

Exhaustion happens when we get stuck in an emotion.

Emotional exhaustion is one of the hallmarks of burnout, according to Herbert J. Freudenberger who coined his definition in 1974. Emotional exhaustion is described as, “fatigue that comes from caring too much for too long.”

Of the three components of burnout, emotional exhaustion is the one most strongly linked to negative impacts on health, our relationships, and our work – especially for women or those aligned with feminine cultural norms.

Every word of this Brene Brown podcast episode with the Nagoskis describes so beautifully how emotional exhaustion contributes to burnout and what to do about it. This is required listening or reading for every interpreter!
Burnout and How to Complete the Stress Cycle

Feelings always end

white wave crashing onto black rocks beside a mountain with blue sky behind it. Tag: tend feelings self-care strategies

Photo by Jana Sabeth

When emotions are stored up without acknowledgment or space to be felt, they must get our attention in other ways. It can be so scary to allow these feelings to move through you. It can feel as if they’ll never leave or they’ll consume us – but I’m here to tell you:

They always end.

Just like a wave, crashing on shore, feelings have a beginning, a crescendo, and a receding conclusion. The more willing and intentional we are about giving them space and ways to move, the less backlog we incur, and the more clear, present, and grounded we can be – even through our experience of them.

This Saturday, October 24th, 2020, I’ll be teaching a specific practice for completing the stress cycle and allowing emotions to move through that you can be doing throughout your day. Check out Self-Care for Stressful Times and join us!

Lean on your boundaries

When you first begin feeling your feelings, put some supports and boundaries in place to make it feel safer. Play music that helps you access the feelings that are coming up. Try this song for sadness. This one for anger. This one for disappointment. Make a whole playlist of your own.

Keep a comfort object nearby – a pillow, soft blanket, or an essential oil. Juniper is especially helpful for fear. Set a timer, and when it goes off switch to an activity that feels comforting and safe.

Reach out to a professional – a therapist, a coach, a spiritual guide. Get support in place so that you can feel free to explore this messy, roiling mass that is our unprocessed emotions.

We’ll be talking more about ways to honor our own boundaries and to build trust with ourselves in the November Burnout Proof Saturday School workshop: Healthy Boundaries for Interpreters. Register to join us here.

Commit to staying with yourself

It can be really scary to feel some of these feelings, or you might not feel anything at all. Whatever you find here as you explore your emotions is a-okay. The most important thing is to stay with yourself. This means:

Don’t judge yourself or your experience.
Be willing to be uncomfortable.
Prioritize time and space for yourself – even if it’s just 5 minutes.
Notice that you’re still here when the feelings pass.
Allow yourself to feel proud of this scary accomplishment.

Resources for Feeling Your Feelings

Burnout and How to Complete the Stress Cycle – Brene Brown with Emily and Amelia Nagoski
The Dark Side of The Light Chasers: Reclaiming Your Power, Creativity, Brilliance, and Dreams – Debbie Ford
16-Second Stress-Relief for Sign Language Interpreters – Brighter Focus blog
Trying to Control Your Emotions Might Be the Problem, Not the Solution – Lyra Health blog
Get right with your darkness – Mama Gena blog
Understanding Your Sadness – Michelle D’Avella YouTube
The Body Keeps The Score: Brain, Mind, and Body in The Healing of Trauma – Bessel Van Der Kolk

Tiny Action for This Week

Set a timer for 5 minutes and be with your feelings. Maybe you have a certain situation you want to focus on to inspire the feelings, or maybe they’re already simmering at the surface. Just give them space and keep breathing through them.

This may be in your bedroom or bathroom, with the door locked, in your parked car, or outside while walking or running.

Let us know in the comments:
What helps you access and process your emotions?

9 different colored circles with text inside surrounding a quote in the middle: You might know I'm stressed if... 1. i'm lost in my feelings. i'm twisty and can't get out. 2. i'm lashing out, confronting, protecting fiercely. 3. I'm shutting down, going numb. 4. i'm trying to earn love and acceptance. 5. i'm acting recklessly, i'm moving fast, filling the void. 6. I'm doing and doing, i'm running in circles. 7. i'm taking control. i'm acting in anger. 8. i'm withdrawing, i'm quiet, i can't be reached. 9. i'm anxious, i'm saying things i don't mean. Tag: tend feelings self-care strategies

@keeleyshawart

Next Week – Pull the Weeds

In part 5 next week we’ll explore ways to identify the weeds in our thinking patterns and how to work with them when we find them. Because our thoughts feed our emotions, pulling the weeds helps to reduce how often we go through our stress cycle.

Until then, take such good care of your precious self.

Spend Time In Your Garden | Self-Care Strategies for Fear part 3

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This is part 3 in a series on Self-Care Strategies for Fear. You can find part 1 here, and part 2 here.

Self-Care Strategies for Fear part 3

Distractions are plentiful in this hurried life. Even when there’s not something important to be doing, our mind grasps at things to occupy it. This is normal. It takes intention, it takes presence, it takes mindful awareness to notice the departure from here + now, and to guide ourselves lovingly back home, to ourselves.

Cultivating a practice of spending time in this garden of your mind + body + spirit is a gift that will keep giving to every iteration of future-you. Every moment you spend with yourself, and every time you’re willing to notice those departures and walk yourself back home, your relationship with yourself deepens and grows and becomes more fulfilling.

Spending time in your garden can look like so many things. The possibilities are infinite. For as many unique minds and bodies and spirits as there are on this planet (and elsewhere?), there are that many different varieties of gardens. So what will yours look like?

white woman with short brown curly hair sitting on blue trampoline holding a journal and essential oil bottle Tag: spend time self-care strategies

me in my garden with my trampoline, oils, and journal

Maybe yours has your journal, trampoline, and essential oils.

… your crystals, yoga mat, and a Redwood.

… your bible, running shoes, and hot tub.

… your puppy dog, pillow, and ukulele.

YOU GET TO DECIDE!

Whatever your garden includes, it is yours, you can change it anytime you want, and you get to feel comfortable, safe, joyful, and whatever-other-emotions-you-need-to-feel in it!

Finding/creating/making/honoring time for yourself to spend in your garden can be tricky. I find that designating a consistent time has helped it to become a habit that I look forward to and count on. For me, morning time is my garden time – before most of my family wakes up. This practice has also made it much easier to jump out of bed in the morning, because I’m so excited for my special time with ME.

If you want some support, connection, and accountability to help you create a garden-time habit, I made you a Burnout Proof Academy course called Make Time for You!

Some of my favorite resources for spending time in my garden:

M O D E R N W O M E N / v i s u a l m a g i c – moonbeaming newsletter + moon cycle tarotscopes
Chani Nicholas – horoscopes that feel more like therapy
Rob Bell – The Robcast soothes my aching/worried heart
Essential Emotions: Your Guide to Process, Release, and Live Free – formerly Emotions and Essential Oils – my oil bible
The Miracle Morning – by Hal Elrod – where I first learned how fun it could be to wake up early and spend time in my garden
Learn to Love ‘No’: Healthy Boundaries for Interpreters – a blog post I wrote that can help you protect your precious garden-time

Small Doable Action for This Week

Spend 5 intentional minutes in your garden, enjoying your body, mind, + spirit.

woman with curly brown hair sitting in window seat reading a book Tag: spend time self-care strategies

Image by Thought Catalog

Let us know in the comments:

What are your favorite ways to spend time in your garden?
What helps you to prioritize your garden time?

We’re sharing our favorite garden-time activities in The Burnout Proof Interpreter Collective private Facebook group. Come share yours with us too!

Sneak Peek: Be With Your Feelings – part 4

When we allow time to just be with ourselves, it can open the door to unprocessed emotions showing up uninvited or announced. The fear or avoidance of these visitors can keep us from spending time in our gardens.

Next week in part 4 we’ll explore what to do with these feelings that may arise. Spoiler alert: this might become your favorite part of the whole process!

Until next week, dear one, take good care of your precious self….and enjoy it!

Your Garden: Self-Care Strategies for Fear part 2

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This is part 2 in an ongoing series on Self-Care Strategies for Fear.

You can find part 1 here.

Thank you to everyone who’s reached out to share your fears and how they’re affecting you. This is deep, scary work, and doing it with others can add a bit of comfort and grounding to the process. Keep reaching out!

Ok, are you ready for part 2? This piece is short, but sets the stage for the work we’re going to do over the next few weeks. Let’s dive in!

Cognitive Behavioral Self-Care Strategies for Fear

Garden, sunflowers, cabin, mountains, fog, Switzerland. Tag: cognitive behavioral self-care strategies

Photo by Miguel Cortes

Your Garden

Imagine your insides as a garden. I know it’s weird, but humor me. We want to create a visual representation of your inner world, so that you can more easily attend to it.

Thrilling view of sunflowers. Tag: cognitive behavioral self-care strategies

Photo by www.krstojevtic.com

Your garden lies within the fenced confines of a yard that is your very own. This outdoor space can look however you choose: it may have a beautifully manicured grape arbor, trellised veggies, rows of flowers, pea gravel and statues, or a wide expanse of lawn. This space is yours, and only you decide how it is maintained.

Soil + Seeds: Thoughts

Dirty hands cupping brown soil.Tag: cognitive behavioral self-care strategies

Photo by Gabriel Jimenez

Within your garden, your mind is the soil – the rich, fertile, nourishing medium that cultivates life.

Your thoughts are the seeds carried through on the wind – some tumbling away and out of your garden, some finding a hold in the ground of your mind. Some of these seeds you grab, sow in the ground on purpose, water, and tend to – these are your beliefs.

Buds, Blooms, and Thorns: Emotions

pink flower in a green field with grass Tag: cognitive behavioral self-care strategies

Photo by Stella de Smit

Your emotions spring forth based on how situations and circumstances interact with your thoughts and beliefs. Emotions are a byproduct of our circumstances filtered through our beliefs.

These emotions are like the buds, blooms, and thorns of those seeds you planted in the ground. The emotions themselves are worthy of holding space for and feeling, but they also serve a purpose. They are like flag posts signaling to us that there’s a thought operating below the surface.

When an emotion feels uncomfortable – like sadness, jealousy, fear, and anger often do – we can ask ourselves:

What thought is driving this feeling?

The Fruit: Behavior

The last feature of our garden that we’ll look at today is behavior.

Behavior – what you say and do or have the urge to do – is like the fruit of the plants in your garden. Our thoughts stimulate our emotions, which in turn drive us to act.

little red strawberry on brown wood table ALT TEXT: Tag: cognitive behavioral self-care strategies

Photo by Erwan Hesry

The more mindfully aware we are of the thoughts we’re planting and tending, and the emotions and sensations we’re experiencing, the better chance we have for our actions to be aligned with our values and intentions. On the other hand, if we’re not conscious of our thoughts and beliefs and haven’t chosen them intentionally, we may end up acting in ways that we regret.

Resources for supporting yourself as you get to know your garden

Image: tan background with a light tan sliver of a moon. Text: morganharpernichols. Listen. Listen to the way your heart beats and has continued to beat through the wild of all you have been through proving that there is still much more to you, and you survived much more than you ever thought you would be able to. mhn. Tag: cognitive behavioral self-care strategies.

@morganharpernichols on instagram

Baby-Step: Reflection

This week, spend some time with your journal and explore the features of your own garden.

garden with flowers, green plants, green vegetables in a raised bed Tag: cognitive behavioral self-care strategies

Photo by Markus Spiske

Prompts to get you started:

Do you tend to be more aware of your thoughts, emotions + physical sensations, or actions? What helps you notice them?

Once you’ve identified your dominant feature, you can go forward or backward around the triangle to learn more about the others:

What thoughts do you have when you’re feeling (example emotions – substitute what’s relevant for you) sad, angry, frustrated, or jealous?

What emotions and physical sensations do you feel when you’re having these thoughts?

How do you act, what do you do, say, or want to do, when you’re thinking these thoughts or feeling these emotions?

In the moment that you’re feeling upset, this three-point check can be useful:

the cognitive triangle of thoughts, behavior, emotions Tag: cognitive behavioral self-care strategies

What am I thinking?
What am I feeling?
What am I doing?

An important note:

We are observing, noticing, and increasing awareness here. Remember, a key component of mindful awareness is paying attention on purpose, in the present moment, without judgement.

As you bring your awareness to your thoughts, emotions, and behaviors, notice any judgement of yourself that comes up. It’s helpful to make a note of this too!

Self-Care Strategies for Fear: Part 3

Next week we’ll talk about what to do in this lovely garden of yours, to enjoy it, get to know it, and work with it. You can read part 3 here.

Be so gentle with yourself this week, dear one, and remember that you have a whole community of precious people here to support you in taking better care of your precious self. Reach out to me privately here, or join in our community in the Burnout Proof Interpreters Collective. I look forward to connecting with you more deeply as we continue to explore self-care strategies for fear.

Want to be notified when new posts come out? Sign up here for my weekly love note.

October Workshops | Burnout Proof Academy Self-Care CEUs

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Happy October, dear one,

How’s your self-care holding up? If you’re like most of us, it’s probably been pretty rough this year – but it’s not too late to get some support and turn it around!

Here are the Burnout Proof Academy workshops + online courses available this month:

Self-Care for Stressful Times – Our Saturday School LIVE workshop this month, worth 0.2 GS CEUs, is happening live October 24th 10:00 am – 12:00 pm pacific and will be available as a self-paced online course after that. We’ll use the Learning Zone Model to help you understand how your brain responds to stress, how to create rest and comfort during stress, and how to grow through stressful times.

Burnout Proof Bootcamp – Fall session kicks off October 7th with a LIVE support session. Earn 1.5 GS CEUs in this 6-week self-paced online course that takes you deep into the causes of burnout and the resilience of self-care habits .

Burnout Proof 101 – A one-hour intro to the Burnout Proof principles. This workshop was recorded September 30th, 2020, and is now available as a self-paced online course worth 0.1 GS CEUs.

Put On Your Raincoat: Energetic Protection for Sign Language Interpreters – solidify your mindfulness habit with this 3-hour online workshop and 7-day 15-minute mindfulness practice, worth 0.5 GS CEUs.

Make Time for You: A 7-Day Self-Care Reset for Sign Language Interpreters – build your self-care habit in 5 minutes a day, worth 0.3 GS CEUs. This is a great place to start if you’re feeling overwhelmed!

Mark your calendars: a sneak peek for November

November’s Saturday School live workshop will be on Creating Healthy Boundaries, and is scheduled for November 21st 10:00 am – 12:00 pm pacific. Sign up for my weekly love notes email and be the first to find out about new workshops!

Self-care isn’t just for yourself

10% of all profit from Burnout Proof Academy courses goes directly to The Loveland Foundation – Therapy Fund for Black Women and Girls. May our self-care support the self-care of others.

I hope to see you soon! Please hit ‘reply’ with any questions, and as always – especially right now – take good care of your precious self.

Learn to Love ‘No’: Healthy Boundaries for Interpreters

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Red background, stenciled and distressed lettering in yellow, "No". Tags: healthy boundaries interpreters

Photo by Gemma Evans on Unsplash

“No” is a complete sentence.

What do you think about that? Do you actually believe it? As a hard-core people pleaser, I thought it was total BS. I’ve had a difficult history with this tiny two-letter sentence. Every time I wanted to use it, I’d feel such a rush of guilt, pressure, and fear that I’d say ‘yes’ instead, just to avoid those feelings.

I’d think:

‘What if I upset the person I’m saying ‘no’ to?’
‘What if they don’t like me anymore? What if they think I’m inconsiderate, lazy, mean. Or what if they think that I don’t like them?!”
‘Is there any way that I could do this thing they’re asking me to do?’

I’d do anything to avoid saying ‘no,’ at the expense of my health, peace of mind, and even my relationship with the other person. Yes – even my relationships were at stake. Because, like any good people-pleaser, I was an expert at resentment. I would say ‘yes,’ to avoid saying ‘no,’ and then I would be so upset with myself that it would bleed into our relationship – I’d be upset with them by proxy.

As I became aware of the effects my unwillingness to say ‘no’ was having, there’s something that helped this lesson to sink in.

When you say “no” to one thing, you’re saying “yes” to something else.
When you say “yes” to one thing, you’re saying “no” to something else.

Ahh…now things started to get interesting! There are two sides to this coin – a relationship between what I choose to give my time and energy to and what I don’t.

I began to see that I was always saying ‘no’ to something! Just, sometimes I wasn’t aware of it. And you know what I think about awareness…it’s the first magic-key to everything we want.

Dark wall background with white neon sign, "YES YES". Tags: healthy boundaries interpreters

Photo by Michèle Eckert on Unsplash

Start with ‘Yes’

Saying ‘no’ is a bazillion times easier when you’re clear on what you’re saying ‘yes’ to instead. Know your top priorities. Identify your values or guiding principles.

If you’ve already identified that one of your core values is ‘family’, and you get a job request at the same time that your child has a special dance performance, it’s easier to know which to say ‘yes’ to (the dance performance!).

If your focus for the month is on improving your organizational systems for your business, and you come across a parenting conference that sparks your interest, you can check with your current priorities to know that the parenting conference can wait until next year. You’re saying ‘yes’ to sticking with your organizational focus.

Ask for Time

Jiu jitsu is one of my favorite sports. One of the reasons is because being good at it doesn’t rely on strength or size. Practitioners who excel are masters at using natural forces of gravity and leverage to assist their bodies in subduing their opponents.

Background half pink, half blue, with an old fashioned alarm clock in the middle. Tags: healthy boundaries interpreters

Photo by Icons8 Team on Unsplash

Here’s a jiu jitsu move for learning to love ‘no’:
Ask for time to consider the request.

Practice these phrases:

“Let me think about it.”
“Let me check in with my priorities/needs/calendar.”
“I’ll get back to you.”

And don’t forget your love or kind regard for the person to whom you’re speaking! Put these phrases together with your genuine feelings, and you become a master at communicating your boundaries in a way that actually strengthens relationships.

“Thanks so much for the invitation! Let me check in with my priorities for that week and I’ll get back to you tomorrow. Does that sound ok?”

Take action

Here’s something you can do today to baby-step your way toward learning to love no:
Download the “Hell, YES!” Checklist, and use it to help you tune into your inner “YES.”
Comment below to share what you use it for and how it goes.

Reflection

Grab your journal and reflect:

What, in the last week, did you want to say ‘no’ to, but didn’t?
When you think of that moment that you wanted to say ‘no’, what feelings and sensations were you having in your body?
What did you actually want to say ‘yes’ to, in that situation?
If you had a ‘do-over’, what would you rather have said?

Healthy Boundaries for Interpreters

Four resources to deepen your exploration with healthy boundaries:

Nope Hand Lettering On Wood and Glass. Tags: healthy boundaries interpreters

Photo by Daniel Herron on Unsplash

Register for Burnout Proof 101 – A live one-hour webinar workshop exploring boundaries, joy, energy and more. Sept 30th, 2020. 0.1 CEUs.
Self-Care: Thriving in Times of Uncertainty – RID VIEWS Nov 2019 Self-Care column with tips for tending to the body, mind, and heart during stressful times.
Brene Brown’s advice on how to set boundaries – article from Brene Brown on setting boundaries
Boundaries with Brene Brown – YouTube interview with Brene Brown

We are all in this together, dear one, and we need your deepest inner knowing and wisdom engaged as we work to create this equitable new world. Take it one tiny baby-step at a time, and remember I’m here to support you!

Sending so much love today and every day.
xo,
Brea

Summer Self-Care Plans

Summer 2021 at Burnout Proof Academy – What’s on your summer reading list?

We had such an amazing time in our first Book Club live discussion! We dove deep into Burnout: The Secret to Unlocking the Stress Cycle.

Cast Your Vote for Fall Burnout Proof Book Club

Healing Interpreter Burnout: Complete Your Stress Cycle

Group Study Guide coming soon!

June 2021 Oil Protocol

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May 2021 Self-Care at Burnout Proof Academy

Burnout Proof Book Club We had such an amazing time in our first Book Club live discussion! We dove deep into Burnout: The Secret to Unlocking the Stress Cycle.

Healing Interpreter Burnout: Complete Your Stress Cycle

May 2021 Self-Care Oil Protocol

Are you growing in new or uncomfortable ways? Do you feel like you’re shedding an old skin?

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Welcome to February!

February 2021 Self-Care at Burnout Proof Academy

Burnout Proof Book Club

Self-Care Spotlight | Juggling: How To Learn About Daily Life Through Circus Skills

Healthy Boundaries has a new look!

Who’s ‘we’?

February Oil Protocol

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Types of property

Who owns the property?

Your map

Find yourself on the map: “Where am I?”

Walk yourself home

Do boundaries make me self-centered?

Healthy Boundaries for Interpreters

Reflection

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November 2020 at Burnout Proof Academy

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Tending Feelings Self-Care Strategies for Fear

How emotions relate to burnout

Feelings always end

Lean on your boundaries

Commit to staying with yourself

Resources for Feeling Your Feelings

Tiny Action for This Week

Next Week – Pull the Weeds

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Self-Care Strategies for Fear part 3

Some of my favorite resources for spending time in my garden:

Small Doable Action for This Week

Sneak Peek: Be With Your Feelings – part 4

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Cognitive Behavioral Self-Care Strategies for Fear

Your Garden

Soil + Seeds: Thoughts

Buds, Blooms, and Thorns: Emotions

The Fruit: Behavior

Resources for supporting yourself as you get to know your garden

Baby-Step: Reflection

Self-Care Strategies for Fear: Part 3

Share this:

Here are the Burnout Proof Academy workshops + online courses available this month:

Mark your calendars: a sneak peek for November

Self-care isn’t just for yourself

Share this:

“No” is a complete sentence.

Start with ‘Yes’

Ask for Time

Take action

Reflection

Healthy Boundaries for Interpreters

Share this:

Burnout Proof Book Club

We had such an amazing time in our first Book Club live discussion! We dove deep into Burnout: The Secret to Unlocking the Stress Cycle.

Are you growing in new or uncomfortable ways?
Do you feel like you’re shedding an old skin?