Do you believe you can have the self-care that you want?

When it comes to self-care, have you thought: 

I don’t have the time.
I feel guilty for focusing on myself.
I don’t even know where to start. 

It can be overwhelming to imagine making any big changes. Especially right now, in this transitional phase between the isolation of the pandemic and resuming some in-person activities. 

The pandemic and all the emotions that have come with it are still very much with us and yet things are changing. 

You’re making new decisions. You’re getting more social invitations. You’re deciding how much energy you have. When do you need to start saying ‘no’ to people again? (We haven’t had to exercise our ‘no’ muscle in a while!) 

The one thing you can do right now

Here’s one simple thing to help move you forward a little bit. One thing to do if you feel stuck, not knowing what to do next. 

Start where you are. 

Ask yourself: 

• Where am I now? 
• How am I doing now? 
• What am I experiencing? 
• What’s alive in me right now? 

Take the quiz

This fun, short quiz helps you take stock of the areas where you may or may not be:

💞 showing up for yourself
💞 giving away your energy
💞 aligning with your life goals and values

…and come away with an idea of where you’re at.

The place to start is always exactly where you’re at. 

The next step

Once you’ve gone through the quiz, take a look at your result.  

Are you up in flames? Is the check engine light on? 🔥
Are you feeling great? Are your systems and your routines supporting you? 🥳
How do you feel about your result? What does it feel like in your body? 

😞 Disappointment
😢 Sadness
😡 Anger
😄 Excitement
🥰 Pride

Take a moment now to check in with where you’re at and how you feel about it. This might be uncomfortable! That’s ok.

Feeling the discomfort, naming what you’re feeling, breathing through it, and doing the next right thing is building your nervous system’s capacity! You’re doing great.

Photo by Diana Simumpande

 When you’re done

Head on over to our private Facebook group to share your score with us and let us know how this was for you. 

What’s Happening at Burnout Proof Academy

It’s been a fairly quiet summer here at Burnout Proof Academy, but we have an exciting book club going right now that you can still jump in on!

Who were you, before you learned to be good?

Speaking directly to anyone who relates to putting others’ needs and feelings before your own, Untamed, by Glennon Doyle, reconnects us to the wild inside each of us.

Join Burnout Proof Book Club as we read Untamed by Glennon Doyle. Come create community and grow your support system as you learn and practice what it means for you to quit pleasing and start living.

All you need to do:

• Enroll in the course
• Purchase and read or listen to UNTAMED
• Answer discussion questions for each section of the book
• Participate in the Live Discussions or watch the recordings
• Receive 1.1 GS RID CEUs!

 Click here for more info + instant access

Think of a situation where you worry about what others might be thinking of you. 

So many of us experience this. This is a big one for me – really caring about how others see me and caring about others’ experience of me. Often that takes me outside of what’s actually mine to control, what’s really my responsibility. 

So you’re worried about what others might be thinking of you. What kind of situations does this happen to you in? Maybe in some places in our lives we’re more susceptible to being worried about what someone else thinks of us. Maybe in some situations we’re less concerned about that and we feel clearer within ourselves.

Something to notice in these situations where we’re concerned about what someone else thinks of us is first we don’t get to control what others think. We’re never in their minds, even if we can play a part that might influence them one way or another. We don’t control what others think of us. 

I love a saying that I hear often and I repeat to myself often – what others think of me is none of my business. 

That’s not our business, what others think of us. 

What is more helpful and the reminder I want to share with all of us today is that I am responsible for what I think of me. What I think of myself is what matters more. 

✔Am I living up to my values?
✔Am I operating in a way that really aligns with how I want to show up in the world? 

That’s what I have control over. That’s what I can do something about. That’s the metric I want to measure and I want to live my life by. 

Whose Yard Are You In?

Photo by Jalen Hueser

There are two kinds of yards:

My yard >> My thoughts, my feelings, my actions, my words. 

These are all things that are mine. These are the things that live in my yard, that are in my domain. These are the things that I’m responsible for. 

Someone else’s yard >> Their thoughts, their feelings, their actions, their words. 

I can care about someone else deeply, but I can only do it from my yard. If I go over into their yard and worry about:

❌What they’re thinking about me
❌What they’re feeling
❌What they’re doing
❌What they’re saying 

Then that means I have abandoned my yard. I’ve abandoned myself. I’ve abandoned my responsibilities. I’m not taking care of me or what I need to be taking care of because I’m over there trying to take care of what they should be taking care of.  

If you find yourself in someone else’s yard, don’t worry! All you have to do is go back to your yard and remind yourself, “I’m responsible for what I think of me. What do I think of me?” 

TIP: Those thoughts we’re talking about, “what I think of me…” those are thoughts, those are like clouds that pass through our mind. We’re not even really in control of our thoughts! Thoughts come and go. They’re projections of the mind and the brain. What I’m more responsible for, if we want to get really nuanced here with our language, I’m responsible for those thoughts that I attach to, those thoughts that I believe. 

I love the sign for believe. Think – marry. 

A belief is a thought that I marry, that I attach to. I choose to bring this thought into my world. 

I get to choose what thoughts I attach to, what I believe, what I believe about myself. That’s mine to manage, that’s mine to take care of. 

Photo by James Resly

Final Thoughts

A reminder as you move through your days and weeks (or even just this moment):

Pay attention to what the thoughts are in your mind. Where are you worried about what someone else is thinking of you? Come back to your own yard and ask yourself these questions:

🌱What am I responsible for in this moment?
🌱What do I think of me?
🌱What am I thinking of me right now?

This is a mindfulness practice. This is just noticing where our thoughts go and gently bringing us back to our center. That’s what meditation can be. That’s what any kind of mindfulness practice can be. 

Paying attention on purpose to the present moment without judgment. 

Sometimes our judgments of ourselves are what we’ll really notice here. When I come back to the present moment and I pay attention to what my thoughts are, I notice — “Oh there’s a lot of judgment against myself right there.” 

Can I let that be here too? Can I come back to a place of love for myself even with my human brain that wants to judge? Because that’s what our brains do. 

Click here to participate in the discussion and let us know in the comments:

Where does this show up for you?
What is challenging about this for you?
What have you found helps you come back to responsibility for yourself and noticing what you think of yourself and really caring for that relationship that you have with yourself? 

You’re Invited

Join our free support community, The Burnout Proof Collective, to connect with interpreters, teachers, and parents who are working on taking better care of themselves too. This is the best way to get personal support from Brea and to go deeper with your self-care!

Click here to join