Tag Archives: happiness

2020 Year-in-Review

photo grid showing top 9 instagram photos of 2020 tag: 2020 year in review

Top 9 Photos of 2020

2020 Year-in-Review

Favorite Quote

If we don’t wrestle with anger, we never get to the heartbreak. and if we don’t get to the heartbreak, we don’t get to the healing.

-Lama Rod Owens, Love and Rage

Things Our Family Loved Doing Together

boy with gray sweatshirt and blue sweatpants standing in front of a fireplace with a tv on top holding a tablet, reading, tag: 2020 year in review

Kaden Open Mic 2020

  • Playing D&D
  • TV: Bob’s Burgers, Blackish, Ted Lasso
  • Walks in our new neighborhood
  • Snuggling on the amazing giant couch
  • Watching the birds and squirrels, trying to befriend the crows
  • Singing along to Hamilton (still!)
  • Re-reading the ‘Shit Kids Say’ list
  • Playing Superfight
  • Watching Couper watch ‘his show’ (the fireplace)
  • Happy Hour with Gramma Patti and Poppy
  • Monday Night Open Mic
  • Table Topics questions during dinner
  • Family Snapchat group
  • Sharing Daily Sky Pics

Books Read

My goal was that over 50% of my books read this year be written by authors who were not cis white males. I got to 69%! Working on increasing this percentage for 2021. 

Are you a book-lover? Connect with me on Goodreads!

  1. Pilgrimage of a Soul, Phileena Heurtz
  2. The Book of Job
  3. Sulwe, Lupita Nyong’o
  4. White Fragility, Robin DiAngelo
  5. Change-able, J. Stuart Ablon
  6. Breaking Up With Sugar, Molly Carmel
  7. 2020 My Shining Year Life Goals Workbook, Leonie Dawson
  8. Outrageous Openness, Tosha Silver
  9. Fasting, Feasting, Freedom, Kim Smith
  10. Animal Farm, George Orwell
  11. Drop The Stones, Carlos A Rodriguez
  12. The Enneagram of Belonging, Chris Heurtz
  13. The Enneagram of Belonging Workbook
  14. You Were Born for This, Chani Nicholas
  15. The Bright Side of a Broken Heart, Michelle D’Avella
  16. Untamed, Glennon Doyle
  17. Self-Inflicted Wounds, Aisha Taylor
  18. Psalms
  19. How to Be An Antiracist, Ibram X. Kendi
  20. Let It Out: A journey through journaling, Katie Dalebout
  21. True Self, False Self, Richard Rohr
  22. Prayer: Forty Days of Practice, Scott Erickson + Justin McRoberts
  23. Burnout: The secret to unlocking the stress cycle, Emily and Amelia Nagoski
  24. The Little Book of Letting Go, Hugh Prather
  25. Getting to Center, Marlee Grace
  26. You’re a Miracle (and a pain in the ass), Mike McHargue

Most Influential Book I Read

Burnout: The Secret to Unlocking the Stress Cycle book cover. Burnout: The Secret to Unlocking the Stress Cycle. Emily Nagoski, PhD. Amelia Nagoski, DMA. tag: 2020 year-in-review

Get the Cliff’s Notes/warmup version from Brene Brown on Unlocking Us.

Favorite Show of The Year

This was another spot-on recommendation from Brene Brown, heard on Unlocking Us.

Ted Lasso

Most Played Song

You Say, Lauren Daigle

Favorite Podcast

I couldn’t choose just one!!!

Favorite Musical Discovery

The Highwomen


What were your favorites of 2020?

black night sky with a full moon Tag: 2020 year in review

Photo by Neven Krcmarek

Pull the Weeds | Self-Care Strategies for Fear part 5

This is part 5 in a series on Self-Care Strategies for Fear. You can find part 1 here, part 2 herepart 3 here, and part 4 here.

painting with black, red, and white smears with the quote "All war belongs on paper" by byron "katie" reid Tag: reappraisal self-care strategies

Image by Jolenee Born

Thoughts can grow like weeds

In our minds, unchecked thoughts can grow like weeds. It’s so easy for them to be constantly playing in the background, orchestrating and puppeteering our decisions and behaviors, rarely questioned or examined…flying under the radar. 

Try this experiment now: take your attention from reading these words and turn it toward your mind. Become aware of your thoughts – the steady narration that’s happening in your mind. What’s it saying? 

All of the ideas and beliefs you’ve soaked up since childhood are still operating today in the depths of your psyche as your operating system. Many of them are flat-out lies. This inner narration is programmed by your operating system. As you bring your attention to your inner narration, you have the opportunity to uncover your own operating system and the beliefs that undergird it.

Some of mine that I’ve discovered over the years:

“I’m annoying. No one wants to listen to me.”

“People who are angry are dangerous.”

“Any noise in the night is definitely someone breaking into our house.”

“No one will ever really understand me.”

“Prioritizing myself and my own needs is selfish.” 

 

Reappraisal Self-Care Strategies for Fear

blurry black and white picture of a person wearing a shirt with a fuzzy collar holding head, closing eyes, and screaming Tag: reappraisal self-care strategies

Photo by Callum Skelton

Thoughts, running wild and unchecked in our minds, are tricky and cunning – but thoughts on paper are lifeless and still. Getting these thoughts out of your head and onto the page is one of the best ways to weed your garden.

Once they’re on the page, ask them some questions. In mental health coaching we call this “reappraisal.” This is an opportunity to look again at something you took to be 100% true without really questioning it – or – at something you learned during a different time in your life when this belief helped to keep you safe, but maybe now is outdated and not as useful.

Ask:

“Is it 100% true?”
“Whose yard am I in?”
“How do I feel when I’m believing this thought?”
Name the emotions and sensations.

You can tell a weed based on its effects on your life. Weeds zap our energy. They contribute to us feeling disempowered, anxious, depressed, and unmotivated. Examining the truth of these thoughts and their effects on your body, mind, and spirit is a major step toward cleaning up your garden and freeing up your energy.

Questioning our thoughts and re-appraising their usefulness and truth can be difficult, especially if the beliefs were planted long ago or have trauma associated with them. Be very, very gentle with yourself as you do this work, and reach out for support if you feel scared, overwhelmed, or stuck. Having a neutral and steady person with you as you weed your garden can be so helpful. 

Resources for working with your thoughts

  1. How to Deal with Anxiety from The News – NPR Life Kit
  2. The Work of Byron Katie
  3. Get it Off: What to do when your work gets stuck to you – Burnout Proof Academy course
  4. All or Nothing Thinking – The Life Coach School Podcast episode #325 
  5. The Calling – Greatest Hits log exercise – Rha Goddess

Tiny Action

This activity comes from Burnout Proof Bootcamp

Create a note on your phone titled ‘Thoughts’ or something more creative! If you prefer pen and paper, grab a 3×5 card or pocket journal to carry around with you this week. 

When you notice a thought that accompanies stressful feelings (like the kind we talked about last week), make a note of the thought word-for-word – as if you’re narrating. At the end of the day, your list might look like this:

screenshot of iphone screen notes app with black background and white text: Thoughts Maybe she didn't hear me? Maybe I wasn't clear? This is my opportunity for connection with her I have to take it. She needs me. She might not be OK without me. I can put off what I need for just a minute. I don't want her needs to seem unimportant to me. She doesn't care about my needs. I've taught her not to care about my needs. This is my fault. I feel so stuck. I want to be able to do this on my own but I'm scared. Something bad might happen. But I shouldn't need someone to do this for me. I have so much to do this week. I'm already tired and the week has barely started. Tag: reappraisal self-care strategies

Next week: Plant new seeds

Once you’ve pulled the weeds, don’t leave bare ground to erode or to become re-infested with weeds. Next week we’ll look at how to identify and intentionally cultivate the helpful thoughts.

Reflection

Let us know in the comments:

What helps you become aware of unhelpful thoughts?

cluster of bright blue flowers with a purple center with blurred background of greenish-brown grass Tag: reappraisal self-care strategies

Photo by Selma Rizvić

Happiness Is Contagious…Catch It!

I learned from Scott Crabtree this week at The Science of Happiness that the happiness of others is contagious. I want to capitalize on this principle! I will be highlighting the positive direction that interpreters are creating for themselves, and there are so many to list. If you know of an interpreter who is spreading happiness by manifesting his/her passion please let me know, I would love to share their story here!

Portrait of a group of business people laughing against white ba